For the past months I have been waking up to a flurry of to-do lists, my mornings stamped with tasks and my diet an amalgam of coffee, tea, and whatever else there is. Nights have become fizzy at the sides because I return to bed either very late or very early, and anything that so much as resembles sleep is infused with worry for the next day. I am overtaxed, to say the least, but I’m also deprived of any time to recover through creativity.
Baking and food photography consume more time than I can spare, but they rejuvenate my senses. And so, overpowered with an intense need to have my hands work on something that is not a keyboard, I volunteered to bake for breakfast this weekend.
When I am swamped with loads of work and I pop up a baking spree in between responsibilities, I often end up tense in the kitchen. Not this time. I baked two loaves of this banana apple bread after coming home from a day-long graduation photoshoot, which is to say, I was already exhausted before baking. I had to stay up longer to bake this banana apple bread, but I was pretty focused on the process, and made minimal mess in the kitchen. Then, I headed to sleep, knowing that I have a new set of to-do list to dive into the next day.
Maybe I commit to more than I can handle, and in the blur of things I forget to pat myself at the back for those that I am able to accomplish. As much as I can’t wait to wake up to slower mornings and to days when I don’t have to run on caffeine, I should more importantly credit myself for surviving the hell days.